7 Tips to Get Back With Your Ex

So you've sat around and thought about it... and drowned your sorrows in a fifth of Cuervo Gold or a family-sized bag of Jalapeno Popper Doritos... and thought about it some more... and come to the conclusion that the only way that life will ever be right again is if you get back with your ex.

Now, if your ex feels the same way, no problem. Well... there will still be things you and your ex will have to work out, but at least you're both on the same page... which is two-thirds of the battle.

If your ex isn't quite ready for another go at the relationship, though, things get a little trickier. Before you rush off headlong and beg for your ex to come back, though, read through these 7 tips to get back with your ex. They'll greatly increase your chances of a successful reunion... and once the two of you are back together, they'll help your relationship be stronger than it ever was before you broke up.

1) Before you ever even contact your ex, make sure you're looking out for yourself. Do what you need to do to get your head screwed on properly. We often spend most of our time and energy focusing on the ex - making sure he or she is doing okay. That's not goin gto help you get back with your ex right now. Taking care of yourself will.

2) If you need to talk to a professional, by all means, do it. You have to work on getting yourself back to a stable emotional state... and sometimes talking to your best friend isn't enough. There is absolutely no shame in getting professional help - after all, break ups are very painful and very draining. You're going to need break up help to get back to normal.

3) Develop a rational strategy to get back with your ex. Acting on impulse might seem romantic and Cassanova-esque, but it's a recipe for disaster. Use a course like Save the Marriage to quickly develop a step-by-step plan for winning back your ex - if he or she is really the one, you can't afford to rely on guesswork - you have to know your plan will succeed!

4) Sit down and honestly evaluate your emotional state before you get in touch with your ex. Are you confident and calm? Your ex isn't going to be too interested in rekindling a romance with you if you're a crying, needy mess. Nobody needs that. Your ex wants somebody who adds to his or her life, not someone who has to be taken care of.

5) Set up a meeting with your ex in a neutral location. Don't go to the spot where you first kissed, or where you spent your anniversary, or anywhere else that dredges up the past. This is about the possibility of a new beginning - bringing up old emotions can easily ruin your chance of winning back your ex.

6) Don't just talk. Listen. Sure, your ex probably made some mistakes in your relationship, but you probably did too. Getting defensive about your shortcomings isn't going to make you more endearing. If you want to show your ex that you can make it work this time... listen without judgment. You might learn something that will make your relationship work.

7) Give your ex the space to decide whether to pursue the relationship. After the two of you have met, your ex will probably need some time to think. It will be tempting to contact your ex after the meeting to see if the relationship can be rekindled... but you need to exercise a bit of patience, and wait for your ex to think things through. Sometimes, a bit of space can make all the difference.